Unfortunately, most first generation immigrants have never been invited to a Western home. Even second and third generation Muslims rarely experience this. The solution is very simple: invite them!
Persevere with your invitations
There are several reasons that may prevent us from doing this. We can feel just too busy, or that it would be complicated to have someone over we don’t know very well. We may feel uncomfortable about it. But let me encourage you to invite them into your home and persevere with your invitations. This will help your Muslim contacts get used to Western culture. Invite them! They can only say yes or no! In Arab culture, hospitality involves multiple invitations. You have to ask three times before the invitation is considered serious and valid. So don’t expect your friends to accept the invitation first time round. You will need to persevere!
They may be as scared as you are!
Sometimes they will be afraid to come to your home. They may be as scared as you are! “What should I wear?” “How should I behave?” “What will they offer me to eat?” They are asking themselves the same questions! Help them accept your invitation by telling them that you will buy the meat from a local butcher. In this way, you implicitly inform them that the meat will be halal. If you are uneasy about halal meat, then tell your friend that you would cook fish or vegetarian. This gesture will mean a lot to them, but don’t worry if they don’t eat much on their first visit.
In many cultures, your friends will be embarrassed if you finish your plate.
On a practical level, depending on their country of origin and background, they may not be used to eating with a knife and fork. They may find spaghetti and other pasta very difficult to eat so please do not serve them such dishes on their first visit.
“No, but come to my home!”
A common response to your first invitation may be, “No, but come to my home!” If this happens, accept their invitation. When you go, bring a simple gift such as flowers or sweets for the children. When you enter their home, take off your shoes, even if they tell you it is not necessary. Sometimes oversized slippers are provided for you to put on. Try not to point the soles of your feet at anyone as this is considered rude and offensive. Do your best to sit comfortably, laugh with them and simply enjoy the new experience!
Don’t hesitate to say that you are full … your hosts will be happy
If they are refugees or students, they may not have much money. But if they can afford it, they will serve you expensive food. Don’t feel guilty about it, eat up! If you don’t eat, the offence will feel far more serious to them than any possible financial difficulties. At the same time, don’t eat until you are completely full up either, or even to the point of cleaning your plate. In many cultures, your friends will be embarrassed if you finish your plate. They will think that you have not eaten enough and will feel ashamed. So, leave some food on your plate, even if they encourage you to eat more. I remember times when a mother or grandmother would even take the food in her hands and offer it to me directly.
Don’t hesitate to say that you are full: say “Thank you” or “Alhamdulillah” (“Praise God” in Arabic). They will be happy and so will you. Most of all, build relationships and enjoy their company during this first visit. If it goes well, you will have many more opportunities to share the gospel.
Hospitality is key
Hospitality is a most important factor here. There need also be no scruples on the part of Christians in sitting at table with Muslims. I have often been approached by Christians who believe we should object to halal symbols appearing on poultry, margarine, etc., in our supermarkets, fearing lest we be in some way affected by Muslim practices. I believe there is no need for such reactions. We are a free people, delivered from scruples about food and drink (Lk 10.8; Col 2.20-22).
Dr EM Hisham (PhD), is pastor, author and research associate at the Institut de Science et de Théologie des Religions (ISTR), Paris, and Centre for Afro-European and Religious Studies (CARES), Brussels. He is co-founder of Word of Hope Ministries and www.voix-des-prophetes.org, English and French literature ministries. He has authored a few books in French and English including: Your Questions Answered – a reply to Muslim friends and Who is this Jesus?
Originally published in Evangelicals Now (EN), 06 June 2025. Used with permission. To read more articles like this, click here.