I asked my sister to tell me when I’d become a ‘weird mission worker’. Mission workers can become weird. I didn’t want to be the mission worker who returned home having adopted behaviours from other cultures that felt out of place or misunderstood – like unfamiliar eating customs or body language. It was these superficial “oddities” that I asked my sister to warn me about if she saw them.
One thing I didn’t notice was the deep internal “oddities” which can occur on the mission field. The mission field can be difficult, and so we develop certain traits to thrive or survive. This often leaves us with some ‘super’ proficiencies, but also some ‘super’ deficiencies. Let me give three possible examples:
Control: Mission workers are often initiative-takers. Particularly in a pioneering field, if you don’t start it, it doesn’t exist. Evangelistic events, Bible study, spiritual conversations, church, worship songs, biblical doctrine … you name it, and the pioneer missionary played a hand in setting it up, keeping it running and setting the course for the local sheep.
What does this mean for the mission workers when they come home? It might mean they will automatically fill gaps in their home churches – what a blessing! Sadly, in the case of some, they struggle to re-integrate because they can’t adapt to the new reality of not being in control. Though their skills of leadership, service, entrepreneurship and perseverance make them, on one side, a ‘super Christian’, they are underdeveloped in submission to authority, compromise, and teamwork.
Peerless: Mission workers often have few opportunities for peer-like friendships. Everyone you talk to, spend time with, invite for dinner or play sports with is someone younger in their faith or without faith. You become an excellent friend and mentor. But people aren’t necessarily friends back. I know some mission workers who are so ‘others orientated’ that they don’t necessarily see their need. And if they do, it can be difficult to find the time and recross the cultural barriers to make friends back home.
Communication: This brings me to the third example of mission workers becoming weird – me. I’ve spent most of my life functioning across cultures and languages. As a result, I have had to use direct forms of communication, particularly in the more nuanced conversations of life – disagreements, opinions, values, past experiences, logic.
Which brings me back to my sister, who recently told me:
“I know your heart and your love for people, but I’ve realised I listen to you through a filter. Growing up a mission kid and now also being a mission worker you never had a chance in our home culture to learn cultural niceties, small talk, indirect talk or ways of softening your words in order to be heard – much less the accompanying facial expressions and body language and what they communicate. I encourage you to find someone who lives in your home culture and study them. Watch how they interact with others, what their lips, face, and body say. Then practice mimicking it. You have a lot to say and the right heart, but I’m afraid you are often unheard because your communication skills are ‘accented’ by your upbringing and mission field experiences.”
Friends of mission workers: rejoice in the gifts the Lord has given them and gently correct their deficiencies.
I’m thankful that my sister had the courage to point out how I’d become ‘weird’. I’m also thankful I was able to receive the input. Friends of mission workers: rejoice in the gifts the Lord has given them and gently correct their deficiencies. Mission workers: seek people that can show you your deficiencies, humbly listen to critique and don’t grow weary of doing the good things the Lord has abundantly equipped you for!
B & A serve in Central Asia, engaging locals in evangelistic outdoor activities.
Main photo: Ian Noble/unsplash.com